Warning: Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
By Tania Kostos
Comparing yourself to others can be the most self-limiting and pointless thing you can do. Comparing yourself is the main source of your biggest insecurities and prevents the kind of self worth and self esteem that is at the back of all real success. That dreaded feeling of “not being good enough” has its roots in comparing yourself and stands in the way of your success from the outset. Even if you manage to achieve outwardly success in spite of comparing yourself, it can never be accompanied by the inner peace that comes with an unshakeable sense of self, free of any need for comparison.
A Brief History of Comparing Yourself to Others: Comparing yourself is really just a bad habit that is likely to have started as far back as your school days. Things like school grades, appearance and sporting achievements often determine a child’s popularity and hence his or her self worth. As adults, such outward appearances are simply replaced by “grown-up” equivalents like money, material possessions and so on. Ironically, the most popular kids on the block are likely to be the ones who have the biggest need to compare themselves as adults, because they came to depend on the good opinion of others and on the ego-boost of being “first” or “the best”, from a very young age.
Comparing Yourself is a Roller-Coaster Ride: Comparing yourself to others traps you in a roller-coaster ride, on which you self worth is flung around by the opinion, words and actions of others. Even when you do feel better than others by comparison, the strength you gain is a temporary ego-boost disguising itself as authentic inner power. Once the ego-boost begins to fade (as it will), so your insecurities re-surface, thereby re-triggering your need for outside reassurance that sends you on a futile search for inner strength in the one place you will never find it – outside of yourself – and so the ride starts again.